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I pay them to leave.” There are a decent number of men out there who don’t really desire the same kind of relationship as you do. Men don’t need or want women in the same way women need or want men.
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Or does it all simply come down to the capriciousness of the female orgasm – since men can have an orgasm with practically anyone, they don’t much care who they’re with, whereas if a woman finds someone who’s actually good in bed she’s desperate to hang on to him?! My assistant says it’s because when they’re single, they can play video games and watch porn, and if they got a girlfriend, she’d insist they give up one or both. So, together, let’s consider why men are generally cooler with being single than women: 1. As I observed in “Why He Disappeared”, this tends to be the way that men deal with most of their relationships.
When a man hangs out with another man, he’ll watch sports, play poker, talk trash, grab a few drinks, and maybe talk about whether he’s hooking up.
And Google ads recently volunteered to help me “meet yoga singles.” (Google, do I like I do yoga?
I’m barely flexible enough to sit in a chair.) What’s a green single with wifi to do? Sacrificing my dignity for your carnal pleasure, I joined five green dating sites under the name “sustainabanger” and exploited their free features in search of Seattle-area love.
In other words, even if men feel the emotional need to connect, they rarely reach out to do so – with each other, with their families, and with you. As a result of all of these biological and societal observations about men, it shouldn’t be too surprising that there are no Time Magazine cover stories or best-selling books about desperate men. Why are you okay not being in a relationship – and how is this different than the women you know? I agree that women have outlandishly unrealistic expectations for love and relationships.
Women talk about their feelings with much greater frequency and intensity, further feeding the perception/reality that they care more about relationships. Sex – Perhaps Charlie Sheen said it best, years ago, when talking about his predilection for prostitutes: “I don’t pay them for sex. We can separate sex and love, we define ourselves by our work, we don’t lack dating options, we get 95% of our needs met without female companionship, and we don’t talk about relationships nearly as much. Blame movies, Disney fairy tales, whatever you want but the fact remains that when your expectations don’t line up with reality, severe disappointment is the result.
I just think there are more men than women who are okay with low-investment, low-return, that’s all. I remember reading somewhere that it was about 1 in 6 women vs. • 90% of the self-help market in bookstores is for women.
Seriously, apart from “The Game” have you ever seen a relationship book for men that’s sold in airport bookstores? Women – at least my clients – can only date .0001% of men.
This takes care of most of a man’s basic needs – for companionship, for laughs, for fun. This is unfortunate and short-sighted because nobody dies thinking that he wishes he had a 72” Sony instead of a 64” Vizio. Women, who are, in general, more emotional and intuitive, are more likely to define their lives by their relationships.
As I look at that list, it occurs to me that most of my clients who are perfectly content being single are satisfied with their female friendships. So when they lack a partner, they’ll be disproportionately sadder than men, who just bury themselves in more work and (sometimes) play. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: men need more help; women ask for more help.
Activities range from scavenger hunts, to hiking, to a day at the Lawrence Hall of Science.